Over the past few weeks, I have been living the life of a Harlem Globetrotter. Professional and career endeavors have compelled me to move back and fro between Delhi and Mumbai.Needless to say, these short periods of stay have resulted in me meeting many of my old friends and colleagues. There was much regaling as many stories had to be exchanged and many tales( mostly of gossip :P) to be shared.Here is one such conversation which really got me thinking or as a matter of fact change the manner in which i think.
A get together after a long time over a couple of drinks can take a conversation to its absolute extremities. In the middle of this exchange of drunken gyaan, my friend asked me a seemingly simple question, " What is your biggest fear in life?". I was taken aback by this question, truth be told. I mean a discussion of one's fears is not something you discuss on the occassion of a joyous reunion. Fears are kept deeply locked up in the forgotten corners of our brain. So i just blurted out some statement which was with the flow of the discussion taking place before.The moment I made the statement, I checked my friends face. I could judge by the look, that I had failed to convince. So in order to better gauge the situation, I reciprocated the same question to my friend. The reply I got was simply," The thing I fear most is loosing my loved ones".
Hmmm, i thought at first," Well, that is a fear present deep within everyone's heart is it not?". Everyone is afraid of being left alone in this world, of loosing everyone in life who keeps you motivated enough to live. The problem is we dont bring these fears out into the open. No one discusses such matters, although deep down in the back of our heads, this fear lingers us forever. I developed a deep respect for that friend that day, for having actually bought this demon out of the closet.
But as i trailed off from that meeting and withdrew into my solitude, I started to ponder," Is that not natural? Everyone has to die. That is how, the world was intended to be. The dead clear out and the new come in to replace them. This is the cycle of life and death. Everyone has a certain time and purpose on this earth.Once that is over, he/she will depart. The bondings we make on this journey become stronger as time passes on , but they have to break off eventually. And quite naturally, the harder the bond, the more will be the pain. Being afraid of breaking these bonds is just a moot emotion. Because fear wont alleviate the pain or worsen it, the end is inevitable."
As I slept on this thought and returned back to the hustle and buslte of Mumbai, my prodigal room mates announced that they were off to Nagpur as they had got another job offer. Now I understood, the true meaning of my friends prognosis, that the parting though inevitable, the fear always overcomes you. As my roomates started packing away, my mind was ambushed by those same thoughts or fears as to how the hell was I going to survive without the warmth of human company? But as they say time has the power to heal all wounds. As my mind became accustomed to this tortorous routine, I began to realise that Fear is just a temporary state. It is Hope which truly should ambush our mind. I made myself understand that people come and people go from your lives, but living in the fear of solitude once they are gone is the worst thing you can do. We have to be ready to fuel ourselves with the hope that more company awaits, that more bonds are on the fringes of being created. That living in fear will always hold you back, We have to go out there and battle our fears, using hope as our weapon.
And today 2 weeks hence as I sit in the comforts of my room draped in the blanket of solitude, I am mighty glad that I had that conversation about Fear and how the eye opener at the time served as an ideal anecdote to usher in the Hope which has kept me up and moving( new roommates shifting in next week, hope life returns to normal). And as I look for a way to finsh off this article, my eyes fall upon my desktop wallpaper of Andy Dufresne( Shawshank Redemption) standing outside the prison with his hands wide open and the quote at the bottom brings a smile to the face
" Fear can hold you prisoner, Hope can set you free"
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